My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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