I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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