don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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