glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
