When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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