My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
