I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize