Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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