Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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