Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
