I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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