Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
