We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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