I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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