All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
