Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
