Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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