I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize