Do you still have your period?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
