Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
