i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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