remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize