I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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