My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Do vagina's smell?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
