I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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