So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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