I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
