Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
