What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
