We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
