do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
