apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
