you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
