Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
