im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize