He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
