I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just had sex on a roof
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
