Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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