Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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