It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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