But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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