he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
