I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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