If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize