Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
