i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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