if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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