I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
