I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
