it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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