Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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