and you said cock pushups were impossible
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize