Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
