I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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