just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My pussy is not your playground.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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