Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
