ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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