so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize