At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize