dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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