You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
