i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You need a sexual gate keeper
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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