Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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