if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So many bounce houses so little time
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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