this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
