What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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