This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I deserve this hangover.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
