she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
