Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
