Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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